I am not a food addict.

The term “Food Addict,” is too broad because there are many foods I can eat in normal, sensible amounts.

I am not a sugar addict.

The term, “Sugar Addict,” is too narrow because wheat, rice, oats, and all other grains I have tried to eat make me binge until I can’t eat anymore.

When I eat foods that turn to glucose in my body, the eating madness takes over, and I gorge until I finally collapse into bed and sleep it off.

In the morning my head, joints, and muscles ache.  My hands and lips are swollen, and I feel so desperately sad that I don’t want to go on.

The self loathing used to drive me to eat more of the foods that  bring me momentary euphoria: the sweets and starches that drive my mania.

Back in 2008, I went on a whole food version of the Atkins Diet.  After just a few days, my appetite normalized, and I felt like I was back in control of my eating.  I would experiment with fruit, oat bran, and sprouted grains, and the binges would come roaring back.

I learned not to try to re-introduce the foods that made me gorge, and I added moderate intermittent fasting.  I learned to finish eating by one or two o’clock in the afternoon.  I wouldn’t have breakfast until 16 hours later, and this is how I discovered the freedom of living in Nutritional Ketosis.

In 2013, I wrote the e-program, “Sugar Freedom.”  Over the past 5 years, I have become aware that I need to be free of more than sugar in order to stay in nutritional ketosis.  When I am in N.K. I feel alive and I thrive.  I don’t get the hit and the euphoria that I get from glucose producing foods, but I do get reliable energy, and a steady kind of optimism that allows me to be a reasonably sane wife, mother, and worker.

Yesterday, I went shopping in town with my son.  I had eaten my ketogenic breakfast at 7AM.  By 2PM I was only mildly hungry, but we went to Chipotle for lunch, and I ordered a salad.  I foolishly used some of the dressing that came with it instead of bringing my own.  The dressing has honey in it, and I am still paying the price for eating it as I write this at 8:30 the next morning.

One very good thing, is that the terrible eating episode that I went through afterward finally drove me to find a new word, a true word for what I experience when I eat foods that contain sugar or grain.  I experience Glucomania.  I am a Glucomaniac, and I can only be free of this madness when I don’t eat sugar or grain.