It’s been a long time coming, but it’s time for my Rant
This is some Friday tough love. It’s not going to be pretty,
so if you’re easily offended (don’t worry, I don’t curse, but
I will be blunt), go watch a chick flick and eat some Girl
Scout Thin Mints. Speaking of which, that’s my first rant…
Rant # 1 – I Buy Them for the Kids
Stop. Just stop it. After training hundreds of clients 1-on-1,
there was only ONE person that could have Girl Scout cookies
in her house, yet only allow herself one cookie at night.
How did she do that? The world will never know. I think she
is a Thin Mint Jedi, but guess what… you’re NOT one.
Donate $3, but tell them to keep the cookies. Why in the world
would you waste your time and energy with the over-rated
Don’t even keep them (or any other junk food you find tempting)
in your house.
If I had a box of Thin Mints in the freezer, the box would be
consumed within minutes. I would open the freezer, scream
like a girl and eat up. That’s who I am…
… and it’s why I don’t allow them in my house.
And no, I don’t buy your “I get them for the kids” excuse.
Rant # 2 – You Buy Starbucks Coffee Almost Daily, But
You Complain Healthy Food is Expensive?
I’m not even going to waste my time explaining this. Read
the above again and then shake your own head in disbelief.
Now that you “get it”, Fix it TODAY.
Rant # 3 – I Read on the Internet That….
Ohhh, ohhhhhhhh! I didn’t realize you read it on the interwebz,
where… you know… EVERYTHING is like… true and stuff.
No, you don’t need to eat 200 grams of protein a day to lose
fat. You can do great eating between 70 – 120 grams a day.
No, one pound of muscle does not burn 50 calories a day. Seriously,
if I gained 30 pounds of muscle, I would be able to burn an additional
1500 calories a day?
Daily stack of pancakes coming right up… NOT.
No, your workout didn’t count because you’re not sore. Look, I
can stick a rake up my butt and you bet I’ll be sore. But that
doesn’t mean I had a great glute workout. C’mon.
Rant # 4 – I’m Too Old
I’m in better shape now approaching 40 this year than I was
in my 20’s.
Here I am at around age 25:
Here I am at the Fitness Business Summit about 3 weeks
ago at the age of 39 (I really like this polo shirt… it makes
me look jacked when I’m like… really not):
Need more proof? Meet my gal pal Shawna Kaminski, who
can run circles around most 20-year olds. She’s 50. Boo-ya.
Rant # 5 – I Eat Like a Bird and Still Can’t Lose the Weight
When you plug in your calories using any of the gabillion
free apps, does it say, “you’ve consumed a bird’s calories today”?
Oh, what’s that? You didn’t even track your food? OK, then you
have no clue what the “holdup” is. It could be mindless snacking.
It could be your body doesn’t respond well to certain foods. Who
The only way to find out is to track it. Track what you eat for
a couple of weeks, then improve it from there.
This simple advice can be a life-changer, but yet, I see people
roll their eyes when I tell them this. It’s absurd.
So PLEASE STOP complaining.
Happy Freakin’ Friday,
Mikey, Master CTT
PS – I only did this because I believe in YOU. This stuff
can sting, but it’s the swift kick in the butt you needed, right?